Leadership May Be the Cause of Your Stress

 Are you among the millions of people who are stressed out at work?  Stress can quickly create massive declines in employee morale, well-being, and productivity. While anxiety is caused by a pretty wide range of factors, including issues unrelated to people’s jobs, one really common cause of stress for people is dealing with  incompetent leadership.

Managers and leaders have a direct effect on their employees’ stress and anxiety levels. What leaders say, feel, and do hugely influences their team’s physical and emotional well-being. And the more senior leaders are, the more people they are likely to have an influence on — positively and negatively.

But here’s the thing, far too few leaders are aware that they have this power. And many are overconfident in their leadership skills, creating a humongous gap between their perceived and actual levels of competence.

Great leaders pay attention to their behavior and they understand the impact they are having on those around them. On the flip side, bad leaders are more like loose cannons - you never know what kind of emotional reaction you are going to get in a situation.

The importance of this is even greater during times of uncertainty.  People need to know that the ship they are on has a good captain that will lead them to safety, guide them in the face of fear, and provide employees with clarity and direction.

If you are a manager or a leader, I want to give you a few simple things to consider so that you can help your people not feel overwhelmed and not get down about their jobs.

 

1) The use of negative language.

Employees are constantly trying to read their boss’s emotions and interpret their words. For this reason, try to refrain from using dramatic negative words such as failing, horrible, shocking, and saying things that express doubt in the abilities of the business or of people specifically.  Instead, use words that inspire or convey hope such as: necessary changes, opportunities for growth, improvements, or light at the end of the tunnel. Instead of whining about how far in the hole you are, talk about exactly how you are going to dig your way out!

 

2) Lack of Stability

If you are a boss, don’t make things seem worse than they really are and don’t overcomplicate things for your employees by making them guess what you will do next. Be reliable, predictable, and even boring if necessary. You may be the only predictable factor your employees can count on in a time of great uncertainty.

In simple terms, this means providing a clear format to your meetings and communications, sharing expectations up front, avoiding last-minute changes and cancellations, and, wherever possible, continuing with the same routine. For the most part, people appreciate consistency.

 

3) Emotional volatility.

Excitable bosses are like a roller coaster — they might be fun for a moment for thrill seekers, but they are stressful for almost everyone else. The last thing your employees want during difficult times is to see emotional volatility in their leaders.

This may be easier said than done, but being a leader requires a certain level of competence for dealing with pressure. Especially in a crisis, remember that your own stress will only amplify other people’s stress. The main implication here is that you should work hard to manage your reactions, keep yourself together, and you may even need to put on your best poker face in front of your employees.  If you are freaking out or acting childish in the face of opposition, your employees will basically lose any confidence that things are going to be ok.

Remember, your team is looking to you for stability and guidance amid the chaos. If you are typically calm and stable, try to remain so as much as possible. If on the other hand you tend to be more volatile, emotional, or reactive, just know that this leadership style doesn’t usually work in building high-performing teams. Challenge yourself to change and be more in control.

A few ideas that have proven to control emotional volatility include a regular practice of mindfulness, meditation, frequent exercise, better sleep quality, and internalizing feedback from others so you realize when you may be flying off the rails.

 

4) Excessive pessimism.

Although pessimism can at times help leaders to detect and prevent potential threats, minimize risks, and avoid overconfident decisions, during stressful and anxious times leaders’ pessimism is more likely to turn into a liability. Pessimism demotivates others and pushes employees to only see the bad in situation, increasing their already high anxiety to stressful levels.

Again, if you tend to be a pessimist, you’ve got to be able to control it and project calmness and composure. This will strengthen your employees and colleagues. Remember all employees are either a part of the solutions, or they are a part of the problems.  As a leader, be dang sure that you are not a part of the problem!

 

5) Ignoring people’s feelings.

Perhaps the biggest mistake you can make during stressful times is ignoring your team’s emotions. While you need to understand your own anxiety and get it under control, it is also critical to manage how others are perceiving your well-being. If they think you cannot manage yourself, they won’t trust you to manage them. The key here is empathy: You will only succeed if you are focused on the people around you, not on yourself.

Since the late 90s, starting with the work of Daniel Goleman, a great deal of research has highlighted the key role that emotional intelligence (EQ) plays in developing empathy. More specifically, we have learned that leaders with a high EQ are better at understanding and influencing other people’s emotions, as well as controlling their own. Some leaders are naturally better at this than others. Unfortunately, no one will suddenly wake up with a higher EQ overnight. But they can work on their willingness to understand other people.

A critical starting point is remembering that during tough times it is more important to stay in touch with people’s affect, mood, and stress rather than to solely focus on their work performance, productivity, or task management. Simple ways to achieve this are to have more one-on-one meetings with team members, increase the frequency of your communication, ask open-ended questions that invite people to engage, and show empathy whenever possible. As the great Dale Carnegie put it, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”

As a leader, you are an amplifier of people’s emotions. If you do things right, you can bring out the best in people even in the worst of times. If you do things wrong, you will lower morale and performance even when things are fine.

Be a positive influence on your people.  Help them.  Guide them.  Lead them through tough times. They are counting on you for structure, stability, and direction!